The seven-year itch is a term defined as “the inclination to become unfaithful after seven years of marriage”. The term originally came from a 1955 movie called The Seven Year Itch with Marilyn Monroe. In the movie, the male actor is publishing a book that claims after seven years a man in more likely to cheat on his wife and want to leave the marriage. Though quite interesting, this is not the definition I am using when I refer to the seven-year itch.

The definition I am using is “the inclination for the marriage relationship to become unusually tense in the seventh year”. And since hitting the seven year marker I have indeed noticed my marriage relationship has become more tense and I have been wondering why reaching this milestone would cause this?

When my hubby and I got married things were indeed hard for the first year. It was a period of adjustment. We never lived together before marriage and never really lived alone, we were either living with the folks or in the sorority/fraternity house. So in the first year we were setting up house, learning to live together, figuring out how we wanted our family to function, and trying to assert our independence from our parents. Plus we were starting our careers or at least starting the first of many jobs we took right out of college. All of this combined created a very tense first year. Oh and we moved three months into our marriage which really added to the stress. Haha. I forgot about that.

But after that first year we found our groove. We were One as the bible says and we have had a fairly easy ride. Until this year. Now let me state my hubby and I have a great relationship. Nobody wants a divorce. In fact the D word is not allowed in our house. Nobody cheated. Nothing major has occurred. But we have hit some turbulence in our usually peaceful marriage ride.

So what has happened since we hit the seven-year mark that could have caused this tension? Well, we short sold our townhouse, moved, and became renters again. Our wonderful little man started the “terrific” three-year old phase of his life (and anyone with kids knows why “terrific” is in quotes). Our baby is now one year old which means he is learning how to hit, push, throw tantrums, etc, etc, etc. Lastly, hubby’s work situation has been up and down the past year or so with the waves of the economy.

But I don’t think this is just happening to us. I bet this is true for many couples who reach the seventh year of marriage. After being married this long I think a bunch of life decisions and family situations start colliding. We are older, our kids are growing up and entering new phases. Phases we haven’t learned how to parent yet and we are desperately trying to figure them out. Financial situations have changed. Goals and dreams have changed or need to be reevaluated.

How can the seventh year not be rough?

Realizing our situation and all the circumstances involved has helped hubby and I look at this time, though turbulent, as a season that will soon pass. I think as long as we look at our marriage as a journey and not a destination then we know with God’s help we can get through anything. That is true love. And true love prevails no matter how much itching there may be.