I read this article on CNN… When to have a second or third kid?

It was a very simple read. Not theory but actual examples, voices of mothers, kids perspective on the actual gap- the bonding- the activity. Of course it depends on what works for your family and if you wants more kids to begin with. But for once, I read a balanced article, no judgments, no right way- wrong way. Just a perspective.

Ever since my two and a half month old turned one, I was barraged with the question- So what’s your baby program? And this was generally followed by lectures of why siblings are great, how less gaps are beneficial and so on. There are very few people, minus other mothers of infants, who actually understood my response: “I am still getting used to my baby.”

It’s different to be a parent, good different of course. But it’s very different. It no longer, let’s pick up the purse and step out. It’s no longer, be right there. It’s more of, an hour of packing supplies, ensuring the diaper bag is stocked, checking time to coincide the nap with the drive, cleaning the barfed on clothes and then stepping out, only to realize, oh I forgot extra bottles.

It takes a lot of getting used to, for both parents and their friends and family. The heart of the party needs to be ready to take a break and soothe a crying baby- Read, my husband. The planner and organizer needs to take a step back and let a few things slide just to maintain sanity- Read- Moi.

Getting used to being a parent takes time. And even after 2.5 years, I am learning to maneuver new challenges. I still get pounded by parents of siblings- come on.. get with it now! I am still getting pounded by friends with or without kids – come on.. get with it now! I am still getting pounded by family.. come on.. get with it now!

Luckily my husband and I have figured it out: the correct response is no longer: “I am still getting used to my baby but, “When the time is right”

Honestly, we both have no freaking clue, our daughter will be playing with stuff toys a bit longer, or until we figure it out… it’s just a numbers game right now. But at least, I think I know the right answer for our well wishers: “When the time is right”

Being a vegetarian and a foodie in a country of 310 million people with only 7.3 millions being vegetarian is hard. Very Hard. I have been looked at in amazement, in OMG, in oh-you-dont-know-what-you-are-missing, in spite and in oh-you-are-different.

But I continue to thrive here… well the gained weight and the flabby arms are proof enough. But I digress.

Being vegetarian is a choice and I am proud of it. But being Vegetarian does not make me less of a foodie. I still explore my food options, try out different cuisines, do kitchen experiments and above all accept my choice and others as well. As long there is more than one Vegetarian option in the menu than the salad, I will go there. As long as they don’t mind switching a few ingredients, I will go there. I will not hesitate taking a good amount of time ordering my food to ensure meat and its by-products are off my plate. I have returned suspicious looking food. I have called the manager or the chef and yes, I have stayed hungry through dinner. But it’s okay. In the grand scheme of things it works for my family and me.

“You are a vegetarian, but will you keep your kids away from meat?” This is a question I have been asked time and again. There is no right answer. I know being vegetarian and being okay with other’s choice go both hand in hand for me. But this is a hard one. It’s another one of those parenting decisions/ choices we have made. Yes, we imbibe vegetarian ways for our daughter. For her 2.5 year old mind, she has often repeated “We don’t cut animals, we do ‘pyarru’ (hug/love) to animals. No eating them!” Yes, we have inculcated it and will really strive to maintain that. It’s a choice we are making for her right now just like our parents did that for us a few years eons ago.

Our friends are mixed. We have meat eaters, vegetarians, vegans, eggetarians, teetotalers and so on. We respect each other’s choices when it comes to this aspect of our lives. One of my dear friends was visiting. She prides as being a hard core non-vegetarian. But when we ordered take out at our house one evening, I politely requested her, can you please order vegetarian. I do not prefer having meat in the house. She obliged ever so nicely. Though, this time, I felt bad at imposing my choice on her. She just smiled knowing that it means a lot to me. The next evening I met of her dinner outside. I horsed down my vegetables and she her meat. We both were content.

The day care my daughter goes to, amongst other things is completely organic and very understanding of our preference. They will always serve a Veggie Entree for her. It might be meat burger for other kids but its tofu burger for her. And I am really happy about it. My daughter has asked me once or twice “so and so eats chicken, I eat tofu.” I sit down and explain about making a choice and sticking to it. She runs away smacking her lips and say: “I Like tofu” Issue averted for now. Side by side, I am teaching her to accept people’s choices.

As she gets older, I know it will get tougher. There will be more questions, more reasoning, more opinions and more decisions. Being vegetarian, for us is another of the parenting choices we have made and we stick by. I will approach each question, as it comes, each day as it comes. For now, I strive to balance our meals, ensure there are enough vegetables, enough protein and enough variety for us to continue being a vegetarian and enjoy trying different things at the same time. This week, hopefully I will try Sushi with her… of course, the avocado and cucumber roll!