Many people ask me, what is Carb Face?
Carb Face is what happens after heavy binge drinking or eating a large, lumberjack-sized meal such as, Thanksgiving or Passover.
Other culprits include: pasta, bread, Mexican food, Italian food, Chinese food, pizza, french fries, burgers, etc.
Rule of thumb: Anything that’s going to make your ass fat will make your face fat too.
I first learned of Carb Face in college. Oh, the glory days.
I used to take a 32oz cup, pour in 4 shots of vodka, add a bottle of Mike’s Hard Lemonade, a generous glass of Champagne and a splash of OJ. I called this special concoction, Vodka Surprise.
The surprise was – you’d wake up the next morning and not remember a thing.
Although reflecting back it’s more like, “Surprise! You were an alcoholic!”
Did I mention this was my pre-party beverage of choice? Believe me, I’m not bragging.
Anywho, after a long night of vodka surprises, double vodka waters (yup, vodka and water), shots of tequila, beer bongs and whatever else I consumed, I’d wake up with a face the size of my ass.
Friggin’ carb face strikes again.
So what’s a gal to do? How do you recover from the Carb Face?
- Sunglasses
- Water
- Exercise
- Hide in bed until the swelling subsides
- Pour yourself a mimosa, and just keep on drinkin’ till you can’t see your face
