I recently received this comment from my son’s soon-to-be preschool teacher. Well, not just his preschool teacher but from a few of the volunteers as well. He was at his new preschool for their summer school program.
“Your son is very active.”
This statement was not given as an answer to a question from me like ” Oh excuse me, but do you think my son is active or not active?” Nope, this statement was given to me either without solicitation or in response to the general question of ” how did he do today?”
“Your son is very active.”
So….what does that mean? Does it mean “he did great today because he played all day and did all the activities we asked him to”? Does it mean “your son is so full of life and happiness”?
Nope, I don’t think that this is what was being implied. The tone was not a positive one. It sounded negative and tired…it sounded very tired.
“Your son is very active.”
Here’s what I think it means…I think it means that my son is full of natural energy and you can’t keep up with him. I think it means he is enthusiastic and full of passion and you have been at this job too long and no longer appreciate when a child has spunk. I think it means you wish my son was a wallflower that just sat quietly and didn’t make sound. I think it means you are trying to classify my son as being hyperactive, having ADD or ADHD when you have only know him for a week!
Have we forgotten that our son’s male ancestors were hunters. Men born to take on danger, find adventure, and to discovery new worlds. God made them to love outdoors, to be full of curiosity, and to be very active.
My son IS very active. But I see that as a good thing. That is how God made him – like his ancestors. He has a lot of energy, he is very social and outgoing, and he isn’t afraid to express his emotions. He is wonderful, loving, and passionate.
Now, I do think I am going to be keeping a very close eye on you Ms. Preschool Teacher and your helpers and how you treat my son. And maybe my comment to you will be:
“You and your school just aren’t active enough for my son.”
My youngest son is “very active” as well. We have also discovered that his active, skinny body is sensitive to certain things like: lack of sleep, Red Dye #40 (and others), going too long between meals and/or a lack of protein. When we get these things right, he is simply an active, creative, energetic, think-on-the-fly, wonderful guy.
The fact that teachers are still ill equipped to deal with the active nature of boys galls me. But the nature of a classroom seems equally (or even more) ill-equipped to meet the needs of active boys (girls as well). This has played a role in our decision to homeschool.
My response still does not address the rudeness of others who think they are disguising their judgement of your son by commenting on his high energy. Perhaps you can counter with, “I know, I really wish my son were more lethargic.”
… we see this quite a bit here in the South- the ole’ passive aggressive approach. I definitely think you should use Britton’s response if she dare utter this nonsense again. Well-written essay-
ps Oh what I would give for some of his energy- ;-)